has_2ls | Man on a Mission [For Keller]

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Man on a Mission [For Keller]

Jack didn't like being on the outs with Carter, not even when they had a purely working relationship. He'd always loved her company and thought she was funny and sincere before he started having thoughts about how to make her laugh and what would drive her crazy. That said, he'd landed himself in the dog house pretty good after the sex fiasco and Jack couldn't for the life of him understand why he'd let himself get so carried away with her. It wasn't like either of them.

Still, an apology would probably do them some good and Jack intended to snag fruit and coffee from the Compound just after dawn and sneak it into Carter's hut by way of making peace. She'd wake up to her favorite thing and a note from him and maybe it'd start smoothing things over. Or making them civil. Hell, he didn't know what to do. He just had to try.

Coffee in hand with a folded note, he started making his way back down to New Atlantis, hoping nobody ran into him.

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Jack tried to hide the note and grinned a little, caught off guard.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep. Morning, Jennifer."

There, nice and casual, right?

"Getting all excited about being married on Saturday or what?"

"Knee's not bothering you, is it?" she asked, mildly concerned. That was the kind of thing that kept people up, sometimes.

"A little," she admitted, grinning enough to give it away that she was more than a little excited. "I just hope everything goes well. Trying to get a few last-minute things done."

"No, not the knee," Jack said, trying not to seem too embarrassed. Of course, in that effort, he lost his grip on the coffee mug and in an attempt to hang onto it dropped the note.

Damn. And his knee wasn't going to hold out to let him get it.

He didn't think Keller would open it, at least, but the "Samantha" across the top was pretty damn telling. Why didn't he just put Carter?

Jennifer picked up the folded piece of paper and handed it to him. She didn't mean to look at it--she wasn't the type to pry--but she couldn't help but notice the name, and there was only one Samantha she was aware of on the island (that wasn't preschool age, anyway).

She wasn't going to pry.

Okay, she was.

"You're still going to make sure Sam gets to the wedding, right?" she asked. "Someone's got to be there to make it all official."

"Uh, yeah, but I'm pretty sure she'd be the one making sure I got there on time," Jack said awkwardly, taking the note back. "Don't worry. I'll get her there. Scout's honor."

"Good!" Jennifer said happily, then went on, "You know, I haven't seen her much the last few days. I mean, she came by the other day to ask me what she should wear for the wedding, but other than that she's been kind of scarce. I guess she's been busy working on that computer thing."

Jennifer wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that. It was the wrong kind of science for her, but she got it enough to know that if they left here--and Jennifer couldn't see Ronon not leaving if he had the chance to go back and return to the fight against the Wraith--what they were doing this weekend would be undone. She was kind of hoping Sam wouldn't figure it out, though she was never going to say so, because another part of her was really hoping that she might be able to see her dad again someday.

Edited 2010-02-16 02:05 (UTC)

"Busy working," Jack said quietly, nodding toward the coffee. "We got in a fight about it, so I thought I'd bring her breakfast to smooth it over. You think that's a good idea?"

Not what they got in a fight about, but any female opinion was a good one.

"That's thoughtful," Jennifer said. She had a hard time imagining Sam fighting about anything with anyone (except maybe Rodney on a bad day, or Mr. Woolsey), but then again, she was used to seeing Sam as her boss and in charge and all that. "Couldn't hurt, so... worth a try?"

Keller probably didn't have any idea. Jack didn't see Sam as the type to go running to girlfriends to gossip so it didn't really surprise him. He nodded slightly.

"I just wish she wouldn't work so hard. Don't guess I can get you to put some leverage on her that way?"

Jennifer smiled a little. "Doctor's orders? Not sure she'll listen, but I'll give it a try. She said that's her default, work, and I believe it."

She nodded at the mug of coffee. "If you want that to be impressive, you shouldn't let it get cold," she advised. "Not that I'm um, trying to get rid of you or anything, definitely not. But I think it's probably hard to apologize with cold coffee, you know?"

"It is," Jack agreed, smirking a little. "If you and Ronon were on the outs and he did this for you, would it help? Or am I really just missing the whole female communication thing?"

"If Ronon and I were on the outs? That would definitely help," she said, "though Ronon would probably be more likely to shoot something than..." She trailed off for a second, thinking: He's in Washington, I'm here, but he's going to retire soon, so who knows?

Hello, the Director of Homeworld Security was based in Washington. That might not be what he was now, but in the future...

Senator, indeed.

"Yes," she said, comprehension dawning on her face. "I really think you should take her that coffee while it's hot. You know how Sam loves coffee."

"Yeah? Thanks, Jennifer," Jack said brightly, leaning in and smacking a kiss on her forehead since his hands were a little too full to do much else by way of thanks. "And hey, I'll try my damndest to get a suit for your wedding. The box hasn't been nice to me."

"As long as you show up, the suit is optional," Jennifer assured him. "Just bring yourself in whatever clothes you've got... and bring Sam with you." Maybe it wasn't nice to insist on that if they were obviously fighting about something, but Jennifer suspected if he was bringing her breakfast they couldn't stay mad at each other for long.

Kind of like the way she didn't think she and Ronon could stay mad at each other for long if they had a fight. The idea kind of made her want to turn around and go back and spend the rest of the day with him.

"Now go, before that gets cold," she said, making a shooing gesture.

"Yes ma'am," Jack said, grinning as he made his way back down the path to his and Sam's huts. He thought of her as Sam now, not Carter, and Jack wondered if the change had just been because they'd had sex with one another. He pushed that back though, and tried to quietly enter the hut. Special Forces training made that easy, but Sam had been well trained too.

...and she was asleep, sprawled across her bed in all her clothes and looked exhausted. Jack set the coffee and the note on the table and turned to go but something made him pause. He'd wanted to wake up beside her Tuesday morning, even if she didn't want to wake up beside him, and the sight of her vulnerable and unguarded...well. He took a liberty.

He stepped closer, lightly brushing her hair from her face and leaned down to kiss her cheek softly.

"Get some rest, Sam. Love you."

See? She couldn't protest if she was asleep. Perfect plan.

Sam hadn't slept all night. She told herself this was because she was working, but most of that time she was supposedly working she was staring off into space thinking about what had happened, trying to sort it out, and ending up falling onto her bed around 5 am fully clothed to "rest her eyes".

She'd fallen asleep before her head hit the pillow, and she slept hard.

As hard as she slept, though, she was dimly aware of the smell of hot coffee and the sound of a voice. Jack's voice, saying something she couldn't make out. It took her a few seconds, but she forced herself awake enough to see him almost walking out her door.

"Hey."

Jack froze, hand lightly touching the door frame of the hut. He didn't turn around, not after what he'd just done (really, he was supposed to be staying on his side of the line, not crossing it again by kissing her when she couldn't say no) but he did stay.

"Uh...just thought you might need something to get your brain working since you've got...math and stuff to do."

She'd smelled coffee.

It took her a second to realize there was a mug of coffee right by her bed, but when she did she pushed herself up to sitting and picked it up in both hands. It was still warm.

"Thanks."

Jack had gone to the compound to get her coffee. She was surprised, and oddly touched, and that was enough that she almost couldn't drink it, but she took a sip. He'd even fixed it the way she liked it, cream and double (okay, a little more than double) sugar. She hadn't known he even knew that.

"Jack--" She was about to ask him why he wouldn't turn around, why he was still lingering in the door, when she saw the folded piece of paper where the coffee cup had been. She picked it up, unfolded it, and read it silently.

I love you, and I'm sorry for taking advantage of you.

"Jack," she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

This was starting to get incredibly awkward incredibly quickly. Had to be a new record for them. Resigning himself to another hard conversation he turned around. She'd at least called him Jack, which was better than sir by far for things like this.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Can we talk about this?" she asked. "I know we said we weren't, but we should." And she needed to be more awake for this conversation and not sitting in her bed.

She got up, coffee mug in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other. God, she felt worse now than she had before she laid down. Waking up from a hard sleep would do that to you. It was almost as bad as a hangover.

"Look, what I did to you was inexcusable, Sam. The fact that you haven't thrown me out on my ass is good enough for me," Jack said quietly, settling at her table. The table was safe. He couldn't touch her if she was across the room from him.

"You didn't do anything to me," Sam said in a tired voice. "Whatever happened, I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't have done it if I had been affected by this island whatever it is, craziness, and you weren't. But you were just as much under it as I was, and I don't blame you, okay?"

She took a big gulp of her coffee, clearing the cobwebs from her head just a little. "I told you, it wasn't what we did, but how it happened that bothers me."

This was way too serious a conversation to have on an hour's sleep, but she couldn't let him walk away under the impression she thought he was a rapist or something.

"It's not how I wanted it, Sam," Jack admitted, voice pained. He'd taken to looking at his hands, since looking at Sam herself usually ended bad for the both of them.

"I've fantasized about you for longer than I can remember and you always...we were as good in bed as we were out of it. I didn't want...I just wish I had it to do again and to do it right so you'd be happy with it."

Happy with me, he thought silently, studying the tabletop.

"Something about this damn island makes me where I can't keep my hands off you and I'm not...look, I have no idea what I'm saying. I'm going to stop talking."

Don't just spout off with the first thing that comes to the top of your head, she told herself. She drank the rest of her coffee while she thought about what to say. When Rodney told her his fantasies it kind of weirded her out and she'd shoo him off with a go check my calculations, McKay, but this was a little different.

Why were they saying the same things over and over every time?

"Jack." She sat down at the table across from him, hands folded in her lap. God, she was not awake enough for this and she was terrified she'd go all mushy-mouthed and say something inane. She thought about spending most of the day with him in bed, the picnicking, the flower-picking, the lazy whiling away the day, and she couldn't find it in herself not to want that on a more regular basis.

She just couldn't let herself have it. Not yet. Not even when he was bringing her coffee and looking all sheepish in her doorway.

"All that stuff I said about loving you, that you were the best thing that ever happened to me... all that was true," she said carefully. "I just wasn't ready to say it yet. It's like..." She struggled for the right metaphor, but she was so tired her brain felt like it was full of fog.

"It's like you're in this brand new X-302," she said, forgetting for the moment he hadn't even heard of that yet, much less seen it, "and you think you know exactly how to land it, because even though you've never actually done it before you've studied it for years, but you realize it's something totally new and way better than what you thought you had, and it's the only one there is and the only one there's ever going to be, so you don't want to wreck it. You don't want to crash it and burn it up, so you pull up... and God, this metaphor sucks," she finished lamely. "I can't think straight. Just... do you have any idea at all what I mean?"

Jack half smiled at her, eyes finally meeting hers.

"You don't want to wreck it because it's so damn beautiful, but because you're afraid you can't really let her fly, right? Is that about it?"

Because that was exactly how he felt about her just about every day and he kept crashing the plane on the runway before he could really get going good.

"You don't have to be afraid to fly, Sam. You're allowed to be happy, I swear. If it's me that makes you happy, I'm a damn lucky man, but you deserve it regardless of who or what it is."

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