has_2ls | For Sam [TR]

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For Sam [TR]

Island life meant a lot of fishing and sitting around twiddling his thumbs but at least the ITF provided him with something to work toward, even if it was Special Forces reserves or something. Something was better than nothing, after all, and it gave him the motivation to do the intense PT that he hadn't really done since showing up on the island.

PT was easy when you were in the field; running for your life didn't really seem like work so much as...running for your life. Jack tried to keep that in mind while he swam and ran and hiked until his lungs burned and his knees twinged. He'd still run with Sam later but he...he'd been having a hard time sleeping since the night she'd stayed with him and he refused to acknowledge that might be because she wasn't sleeping next to him.

He knew Sam would probably be awake; it was first light now and she had always been an early riser. Still damp from the shower, he brought her coffee just the way she liked it and some fruit from the compound and knocked on her door, hoping he'd catch her before she went to go fiddle with whatever she was fiddling with these days.

"Sam? You up yet?"

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Sam hated that word, but she knew what he meant, and her hand went to his on her shoulder and covered it. "No, don't be sorry," she said, squeezing a little. "It's not like you weren't asking about something I wasn't thinking about anyway." She sighed, shifting a little, restless and unsure. "And I know what you mean... about it being more than that. It really is."

And that was what made it so difficult. They might cuddle and kiss and make out and maybe more, and that was good--really good--but if it came down to it she could give that up, if she had to, to go back and make things right. It would be hard, but she could make herself do it. But if they went further than that, it would not just be difficult to go back. It would be impossible; and it would be unfair to Jack, too, especially knowing it would mean as much to him as it did to her.

Despite all that, when he was looking at her like that and pouring his heart out, so blatantly honest in a way he never was, free of the sarcasm and the immature humor that were part of his normal front to the world, she couldn't help but want him. And more than that, she wanted him to know it, especially after what he'd told her. She had to kiss him.

Sam leaned in, her hand falling from his on her shoulder to rest on his bare chest, and kissed him; just a soft brush of lips, careful, but full of all the things she couldn't say without sounding like a fool.

"Did you want this?" Jack mumbled softly, leaning up to capture her mouth in another kiss. He didn't want to go too far but her saying she wasn't ready didn't really go well with her kissing him in her bed either and he didn't really know what to do.

He deepened his kiss to show her what he meant, tongue tracing lightly along her lower lip and teeth scraping their gently in what he hoped was a punctuation to his point. Always hard to get the grammar right when you weren't using words.

She groaned softly and her hand on his chest curled into a loose fist. Her fingers caught on the chain of his tags and they made a little chinking sound but she didn't uncurl her fingers. "I just really wanted to kiss you." Her voice was soft and a little crackly, and she swallowed and exhaled carefully, as if she wasn't careful the wrong words would come out on the exhale--because she hadn't just wanted to kiss him.

"Oh, okay," Jack said quietly, his own voice less than steady. He reached up and laid his hands on her hips, gently guiding her on top of him in a much more comfortable position than her leaning over him the way they had been. And hey, he was a man. It was slightly selfish.

"You can kiss me again," he murmured, hands sliding up beneath her shirt lightly, thumbs rubbing against soft skin. Dammit. He was so screwed.

"If you want. Or you can just sit here and let me look at you."

She was so screwed, and she knew it the minute she shifted on top of him with her thighs on either side of his. When it came to Jack, she just didn't have the willpower or even the desire to stop this. She just didn't. His hands were on her skin and she just wanted to press herself into them and kiss him until she forgot her own name.

The last part she didn't know about but she had to kiss him again. If all they did was lay here and kiss for the rest of the morning... well.

Jack pressed her against him, rolling his hips a little so she could feel what was going on. It was just friction and they were still clothed so it wouldn't really be a breach in the rules they'd set down. Besides, she ought to know how much she had him worked up just from a couple kisses; he wasn't made of stone and sometimes he felt like Carter needed that reminder.

"Kiss me again, Sam," he murmured, fingers lightly tracing her waist and hips.

She didn't need the reminder, but it was welcome all the same, and even through their clothes she could feel exactly how much he wanted her.

Not that it was a surprise, or that she wanted him any less, even if she couldn't quite...

But she wasn't thinking about that. They were kissing again and she wasn't thinking about anything but that kiss, slow and deep and warm, and her fingers untangled from the chain and slid across his chest.

Jack pushed her shirt up, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over her head. He thought that he and Sam had done enough in this particular arena that he could read her and know when it was too much and if he couldn't, he had no doubts that she'd tell him.

And he wanted the chance to look. It'd been so frantic on Valentine's Day that he didn't get a chance to really look at her and see what he was getting and he wanted that chance.

Jack pulled her down slightly, hands back at her waist and lips a little harsher than they were normally. Normally, it was all soft kissing and tentative and unsure and now he was keeping it just to her mouth but using his teeth and tongue and everything he could to let her know it wasn't gonna be an easy thing.

It wasn't too much, not yet. It was just enough to make her ache--God, did she ever--but not enough to push her panic buttons, and her hips slid against his with a little arch of her back that pushed her mouth away from him for a second before she found his mouth again. That felt really good, enough to make her do it again and again and again until she shuddered and had to be still and breathe for a few heartbeats so the feeling didn't overwhelm her; it pulled a soft rasping sound from her throat, punctuated by the sound of her tags clicking against his and sliding against the chain when she moved again.

Jack caught her hips, hands moving down to push at her waistband slightly and fumble at the buttons. He was still mostly dressed, where it counted, and he was pretty sure Sam wasn't going commando under her clothes and that was still technically clothed, right? She had on underwear! Both top and bottom!

Oh, he was so screwed.

"Sam? You still good?"

Sam nodded and breathed a little yep, because she was; she might not be in a minute, but right now she was very much okay. She had no idea where they were going with this. Not ten minutes ago she sat here and told him they could not have sex, and now... well, she wasn't stopping him. She didn't want to stop him.

Yet.

Jack finished pushing her pants down enough that he could work his hand inside and brush against the front of her panties, thumb rolling against her with nothing but the cotton between his hand and her skin. See? Barrier!

"Take your bra off, Sam."

His voice was low and soft, trying not to scare her and make her have that out of control feeling that Jack sensed she didn't really like. Nope. Nothing out of control here. Sam was completely in control; Jack just had ideas.

And Sam was perfectly willing to go along with those ideas, except that she was already so close that she didn't want to do anything that might change that; taking off her bra required some shifting and moving that just wasn't going to happen, not when she was feeling like this. She gasped and shook her head and pressed against his hand, soclose--and then she was falling over the edge with a ragged little sound, her whole body trembling all over with it.

Jack frowned for a second; he'd really wanted her to take it off so he could actually see and then he felt it and figured out why. He didn't think she was so close and he slipped his fingers inside at the last minute just to feel for a second, satisfied smile on his face. Not made out of stone after all, huh?

"Feels good, huh? Letting go for once?"

Sam nodded, with a little sigh, and stretched out, half beside him and half on him. "Yeah," she said softly, and nuzzled at his cheek; then she kissed him, a little messily, because she was still reeling a bit. She hadn't been expecting them to go there, not really, and while she wasn't freaking out about it, and it wasn't too far into the area of things she couldn't handle, she was still a little dizzy with it.

Jack smiled back lazily, hand tousling her hair for a minute before going to unhook her bra. He wanted to get a look still, even if she'd already come. Besides, he was carefully toeing the line, little steps, trying to see what was okay.

And hey, he still had it, because he hadn't done the one-handed subtle bra unhooking thing since he was back in high school. He rubbed the skin there, chuckling a little.

"Are we okay?"

"We're okay," she said, and smiled a little; Jack was being persistent in wanting to get her bra off, so she slid her arms out of it and pushed it away. He was being careful with her, even after telling her how much he wanted to be with her, and it meant more to her than she could ever really explain to him.

She slid her hand down his chest, and then, after a brief hesitation, smoothed it over his stomach. "We're okay," she repeated. "Promise."

"Mmmm. Good to hear," Jack murmured, letting his eyes wander over her chest for a moment. He'd always wanted a better look at Sam's breasts and hey, look, sometimes you did get what you wanted if you asked nicely.

"How uh...how okay? Because I really probably need to go swim about ten miles after that unless we're...really okay."

"Really okay," she assured him. Not the kind of really okay that meant she was going over the line, but she was okay with skirting it. Her slim fingers deftly unfastened his pants, and she slipped her hand inside and wrapped it around his warm length.

She might not be okay with having sex with him right now, but if the only time she ever got to be close to him at all was that island influenced fisaco, she was going to regret it; so this, she was totally okay with.

Technicalities.

Jack actually hadn't been expecting that and he arched his back sharply, pressing into her hand. It felt good and he didn't really want to admit to himself just how good it felt...or how often Sam had starred in this particular fantasy lately.

His voice was breathy when he finally spoke and he cursed himself for it. Dammit. Way too affected.

"So didn't think I was getting that. Feels good."

"Shh." Sam hadn't initially thought either of them were doing any of this, so she knew the feeling, and she smiled a little. Her hand found a pressure and a rhythm that he seemed to like, judging from the way he pressed into her hand, and she realized that this was in some ways even more intimate than their having sex a month ago had been. She was glad for it.

"Close," Jack whispered, shifting his gaze to try to meet hers. Male orgasms weren't nearly as pretty as female ones, at least in his opinion, but he didn't figure Sam was thinking about that. Hell, he didn't know why he was thinking about that.

"Love you."

"You too," she murmured, and her hand quickened a little, changing the angle just a bit. Not quite frantic or desperate, because she didn't think either one of them were feeling that right now, but intense enough.

No, it wasn't frantic or desperate. Mostly lazy, if he was honest, and Jack arched his hips up finally, her name on his lips as he came. It was nice to call out her name and have her right there and Jack wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

He smiled at her when it was done.

"You are, without a doubt, the best girlfriend I've ever had. Hands down."

"I try," she said, and kissed him softly. She did try, despite what it probably looked like to him; and she wished there weren't so many things complicating this so she could be easy with him the way she wanted to be. And she was well aware that that translated into her being pretty standoffish sometimes and not giving him much to work with... but she was working on it.

For Sam [TR]

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