Valentine's Day

[has_2ls]

For the most part, it looks like a regular day. There's a couple people who seem to be talking in rhyme but, hey, that's not so bad considering Carter had acted like it might be the end of the world. Luckily for everyone involved, the Zimmermans seem to be nice and normal too so the kids are staying with them for a few hours while he and Carter have some time...alone.

He's decided to wear his dress blues since it's a date and they're the nicest thing he has but once he actually turns up on Carter's doorstep, he honestly thinks he's maybe overdressed. It's a freaking tropical island, after all, and this is just...two friends hanging out on a commercial holiday. Or something.

Still, as nervous as he is he still wants to spend some time with her so he knocks lightly at the door and tries to look like he's not fidgeting while he waits for her to answer.

Comments

[gate_expert]

Sam tugs at his tie, loosening it, and her fingers curl between the buttons of his shirt. It's been a year since Jack, her Jack, disappeared, and it's been so long since she's had this that it's intoxicating and she feels like she needs to hold on for dear life. Which is crazy, but there it is. This Jack doesn't quite know all the ways to push her buttons yet, but he's figuring them out very quickly. Very quickly.

[has_2ls]

The dress Carter's wearing is low cut and Jack brushes his thumb against her skin where it's bare, drawing his fingers down between her cleavage even as he kisses up along her neck and scrapes his teeth lightly just beneath her ear. It's been a long time since he's just kissed someone like this and damn, it feels good.

[gate_expert]

"Jack," she murmurs on an exhale, and it's a little shaky because his touch is bringing out a whole-body shiver that she can't entirely suppress because it feels good and it feels good to want it. This is territory she hasn't felt comfortable with before now, and at the moment it's not so much comfort as it is trust. She has to trust that they'll figure out where they do or don't need to go when they get there and for the moment she can just let herself enjoy being with him.

[has_2ls]

"Love you so much," he murmurs in response. Her sigh is pretty damn encouraging and he dares to slip his hand just beneath the top of her dress before bringing his mouth back to hers. Her skin is soft and warm and this is what he's wanted for a long, long time.

[gate_expert]

Her answer isn't much more than a whimper because she's too busy kissing him to actually speak. She slides her fingers into the soft hair at the back of his neck and sighs. In a strange way, this feels a little like cheating on Jack... with himself, which is ridiculous and she knows it but she doesn't know how to make it go away. Maybe kissing him again will ease that, she thinks, so that's what she does.

[has_2ls]

"Bed's probably a good idea," Jack says, his voice low and rough. He brushes his thumb against her nipple and kisses her even deeper. It's like there's been a wall taken down and all the emotions he's been holding back for the last ten years or so just come rushing out and finally have an outlet.

[gate_expert]

"Probably," Sam agrees, though it takes her a minute to actually make a move in that direction. She steps back and she's a little unsteady on her strappy heels, and she grips the lapels of Jack's jacket to steady herself while she slips her feet out of them. This rush feels a little like being drunk, a little like being high, and she wonders for a moment if there's some island-Valentine's-Day-thing affecting her--but no. It's just Jack. It's okay.

She nods in the direction of her bedroom and tugs on his jacket.

[has_2ls]

Jack follows her into the bedroom and shrugs off his jacket before catching her hands and pulling them to his shirt. He could take it off himself, sure, but he wants her to do it. It's a thing.

"You are so gorgeous, Sam," he murmurs, eyes drinking her in from head to toe.

[gate_expert]

"Ssh," she whispers, because she never knows how to take compliments from Jack, especially about her looks. It makes her weirdly self-conscious and that's the last thing she wants right now, while she's slipping off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. There are differences between this Jack and the Jack she married--a little softer, a little grayer--but they are subtle and she doesn't care anyway, because he's still Jack (and God knows she looks a lot different than the Sam he's used to). She spreads her hands over his chest and pushes off his shirt and kisses him again before he can say something else.

[has_2ls]

Jack knows she has trouble taking compliments from him but that doesn't mean he still doesn't want to give them. Sam is gorgeous and perfect and everything he's ever wanted and he wants to show her that more than he wants to tell her.

So he does show her by sliding his arms around her and up to find her zipper and tug it down.

[gate_expert]

Her dress is thin and soft and it slips off her shoulders easily; it's the kind of dress that doesn't really work with a bra so she hadn't bothered trying to find one and for a moment she's a little self-conscious because she knows she doesn't look fantastic. But she's skin to skin with him and that doesn't seem to really matter right now.

[has_2ls]

Jack actually thinks she's the hottest thing he's ever seen and once the dress is off, he eases her back to the bed so they can get more comfortable. He's not as young as he used to be and as much as he wants to go down on his knees for Carter it's just not gonna happen.

But he can definitely stretch out on top of her and he thinks that's a reasonable compromise.

[gate_expert]

She presses up against him, kissing him, dragging a leg up over his hip to urge him closer. It's a little more cautious on her part than before, a little slower and careful, because even though she's enjoying every bit of this that feeling of cheating on him isn't going away and it's hard to ignore. Sam drags her nails along his scalp and slides her hands down his shoulders and back and she really, really loves touching him. She hasn't felt more connected to him than this.

[has_2ls]

Jack drags his mouth away from hers and lowers his head to kiss her breasts instead. He hasn't ever been this close to Carter before, not even in the timeloops or the locker room or even in his wildest dreams. She's so curvy and soft and different than he'd ever imagined.

[gate_expert]

And that is an entirely new sensation, one that she's not completely sure about even though it feels incredibly good. "Careful," she murmurs, and her hands slide back up into his hair. As much as she'd like him to keep doing what he's doing... "It's okay," she adds. "Just... careful."

[has_2ls]

"Don't worry," Jack says, murmuring his words against her skin. "I'll be careful, babe. I promise."

He knows she's got to be sensitive since she's still nursing and while that's a weird turn-on for him (her being sensitive) he knows it might end up being awkward if he's not careful. He slides his hand up her thigh while he kisses her again, mouth soft against her skin.

[gate_expert]

It's too much and not enough at once, too much feeling, but not enough, too; she squirms against him and makes a frantic, needy little sound and though she can't catch his mouth in a kiss, she nuzzles against his hair and digs her fingers into his shoulders and shifts her body closer to him, wanting more than this. But she's scared of it, too--not sex, but opening herself up to the feeling and potential for the crushing loss that may come with it--and there's a struggle between fear and arousal for a moment before she sighs and slides her fingers into his hair. "Jack," she whispers, and her voice is very small. "I need a minute."

[has_2ls]

Jack immediately lifts his head up so he can meet her eyes and he frowns a little in concern. The last thing he wants is to push Carter or to hurt her and he's worried that he's done that very thing.

"What? Yeah, of course. I'm sorry, Sam."

[gate_expert]

"Don't apologize," she says, and her voice is a little less small now, still breathy with arousal but with nervousness, too. "It's good. Really good. I'm just..." She sighs, smooths her fingers against his hair, and doesn't push him away or move away. She doesn't want to let go, despite how conflicted she's feeling.

[has_2ls]

Jack doesn't move to climb off her and instead lays his head back down against her chest. Her fingers in his hair feel damn good and comforting even if he's nervous as hell and not really sure what's going on at the moment.

"It's just not the same, right?"

[gate_expert]

She keeps up the soft motion of her fingers in his hair, and when he doesn't pull away she relaxes a little. "Not exactly," she murmurs, "but I don't think it should be." Which sounds pretty crappy, so she tries to explain. "Like...Dr. Carter and I were both Samantha Carter, and so is the Sam Carter you know, but we we're our own people. And maybe we wouldn't do everything exactly the same. God, I don't think I'm making sense."

[has_2ls]

"It's not exactly a normal situation," Jack says quietly. He's not sure what they're supposed to do either and all he knows is that he loves her. He thinks that's the most important thing.

"It's not...I don't feel weird or anything. About us. But we're going at your pace and not mine."

[gate_expert]

Sam is quiet for a minute, and though the soft movement of her fingers doesn't stop, it slows a little, and her hand slips lower along his neck and shoulder. "It's not a matter of not wanting," she says, not-quite stumbling over the words. "Because I do." Even now, in this clumsy moment, she's still responding to the feel of his skin against hers, his breath against her skin and the feel of his body under her hands, and there's a part of her that wants to just push right through this and screw the consequences.

[has_2ls]

"I'm not the same man. I get that," Jack says, trying to give her an out if she needs it. "I don't...feel the same or look the same. I'm not who you married."

He's painfully self-conscious about that, to the point of being avoidant.

[gate_expert]

"Oh, no," she says quickly. "God, no. It's not that. I'm not comparing you to... yourself." She shifts against him and scoots down a little so she can look him in the eye, even if it's easier to talk to him when they're just close and touching but not really looking at each other. "I'm scared of losing you." Which is ridiculous, really, if she thinks about it, because it's not like holding back is going to make that any less painful if it happens--if she wakes up tomorrow and he's gone, it's going to kill her no matter what has or hasn't happened between them.