Should I Stay Or Should I Go? [Sam; TR]

[has_2ls]

Good sex. Best sex of his life. Really great sex. Only twice since that first time, counting this time, but Jack wasn't really counting. Sometimes, Sam even slept over if they hadn't had sex and oddly that just made him happier. But she didn't stay every night and she didn't grant him access to her hut every night either and that was...while not a problem, not ideal. Jack would prefer to have 24/7 access to Carter.

Probably because he was a sap and he'd never really been wired to get up and leave after sex but he tried not to hold it against her. She'd taken some big steps, after all, and while the initial leap had been big for him it'd been easy to wait in the middle while she came to him.

Once he'd caught his breath he rolled over a little, lightly tracing a hand down the curve of her waist.

"Staying tonight?"

Comments

[gate_expert]

"Mmm, I don't know," she said, stretching a little. At this point she hadn't really thought about it, though she wondered if her escapist tendencies were driving Jack as batty as they'd driven Pete. There were some times she wanted to snuggle with him until late the next day, and just as many days she wanted to go back to her own bed and sleep alone. "Not going anywhere right this minute, if that's what you're asking."

[has_2ls]

"I didn't figure you for wham, bam, thank you sir," Jack said teasingly, hand still light on her waist. "But I like it better when you stay. Or I can sleep over there. I'm not really picky."

[gate_expert]

"I like staying with you," she said, and nuzzled a little at his shoulder. "A lot. But sometimes I need my space--and that has nothing to do with something you did or didn't do, so don't wonder," she informed him, sliding a hand across his chest.

[has_2ls]

"I get needing space," Jack said cautiously, giving her a half-smile, "But can't you do it during the day? I like having you here at night."

[gate_expert]

"And I like being here." Her hand stilled its motion on his chest. "But sometimes, I need to sleep alone." It wasn't much of an explanation, mostly because she didn't have one other than being set in her ways. It was just the way she was.

[has_2ls]

"You think there's any chance of that changing?" Jack asked, voice tinged with hope. "It'd be...really nice."

[gate_expert]

She shrugged slightly, hand still resting on his chest. "I don't know," she admitted. "It's just the way I am." Why had he picked now to talk about this? She'd been toying with the idea of possibly staying, but now he'd made it into this thing, and the part of her that insisted on keeping everything compartmentalized was rebelling. "Kind of set in my ways, I guess," she said, trying to joke a little.

[has_2ls]

"I'm not trying to fight," Jack said quietly. "I promise. I just like it...do you promise not to laugh if I tell you something?"

[gate_expert]

"Of course I'm not going to laugh," Sam assured him. Unless he was making a joke, and half the time she didn't even laugh at those. "What is it?"

[has_2ls]

"My bed feels lonely without you in it," Jack said softly, swallowing thickly to hide his embarrassment over admitting it. "So I like it when you stay, or when you let me stay at your place. And it's stupid, but I've spent a hell of a lot of years alone in one way or another."

[gate_expert]

"It's not stupid," Sam assured him. She'd spent the vast majority of her adult life alone, especially recently, so she knew exactly what he meant. "It isn't. And I...I know how you feel."

[has_2ls]

"You just don't feel the same way?" Jack asked, giving her a sad little half-smile.

[gate_expert]

"Well, no, I wouldn't say that," she said, a little hesitantly--God, the sad little expression tugged at her heart and she wanted to kiss it away--and tried to think of how to explain it. Sam would never come flat out and say she thought he'd get tired of her if she and her little neuroses were constantly around; her comfort level with their relationship wasn't quite up to that yet. And she'd been alone for so long, especially that year in Ba'al's altered timeline, that now that she wasn't alone it would be so easy for her to slip into clinging to him all the time, making up for lost time, and she didn't want to do that.

"I've been alone for a long time, too," she said quietly, a little embarrassed herself. "And even when I wasn't, there was always a little distance. It's just part of who I am, I think, and I've been that way so long it's a little hard to change." She'd been so set in her ways for so long she wasn't sure if she wasn't permanently stuck there...which wasn't an attractive admission.

[has_2ls]

"You're with me now," Jack said, giving her a little grin that was a lot happier than he felt. "You're not alone, Sam. You don't have to be, anyway, unless you just wanna be."

[gate_expert]

"I know," she said, and her voice was tender. "And most of the time, I just want to be with you, even if we're just sitting around doing nothing...but sometimes, I just need me time. Which sounds like some new-age pop-psych bull, I know," she said, laughing at herself a little, "but it's true."

[has_2ls]

"But you're still on Jack time right now, right?" he asked, somewhat hopeful. He hoped, if she'd planned on staying, that he hadn't hurt his chances.

[gate_expert]

"Yes, Jack," she said affectionately, sliding her leg over his, fitting their bodies very comfortably together. "I'm staying tonight." She was in a snuggly mood, sated and content, and wasn't inclined to get up and get dressed even if she'd had the energy.

[has_2ls]

"Score one for Team O'Neill then," he said, stroking a hand down her back. "I like Team O'Neill. At least they win more than the Cubs."

[gate_expert]

"I didn't realize this was a sport," she teased, poking at his leg with her toe. "But I'm kind of rooting for Team O'Neill myself." She added this as if she was confiding some big secret.

[has_2ls]

"Oh yeah? You must have a thing for the underdogs," Jack murmured, playing with her hair a little.

[gate_expert]

"I've worked with this team long enough to know how good they are about beating impossible odds," she said softly.

[has_2ls]

"Mmm, yes," he murmured again, stroking a hand down her shoulder. "Do I make you happy?"

[gate_expert]

"You frustrate me," she said, "and amaze me, and annoy me, and cheer me up... You make me angry and you make me proud, you irritate me, make me worry, and make me laugh, and yes, you make me happy, more than anything else. You make me feel more than anyone else I've ever known, Jack."

And that was probably a serious case of too much information; it was certainly more than she'd meant to say, but it was all true.

[has_2ls]

"I'm glad," he mumbled against her skin, kissing her lightly. He hadn't expected her to say all those things and truth be told he was a little overwhelmed, but in the good way. It would just take a minute to process it all.

"You continually amaze me," Jack admitted after a long moment, pulling up just to look at her. "You're brilliant but you're warm and human and...look, I'm a lucky bastard, landing a woman like you."

[gate_expert]

Sam had never taken compliments well, whether they were affectionate ones or embedded in a performance evaluation, and she blushed. "We'll just say we're both lucky, okay?" she said, and traced her fingers down his chest.