Should I Stay Or Should I Go? [Sam; TR]

[has_2ls]

Good sex. Best sex of his life. Really great sex. Only twice since that first time, counting this time, but Jack wasn't really counting. Sometimes, Sam even slept over if they hadn't had sex and oddly that just made him happier. But she didn't stay every night and she didn't grant him access to her hut every night either and that was...while not a problem, not ideal. Jack would prefer to have 24/7 access to Carter.

Probably because he was a sap and he'd never really been wired to get up and leave after sex but he tried not to hold it against her. She'd taken some big steps, after all, and while the initial leap had been big for him it'd been easy to wait in the middle while she came to him.

Once he'd caught his breath he rolled over a little, lightly tracing a hand down the curve of her waist.

"Staying tonight?"

Comments

[has_2ls]

"I'm not trying to fight," Jack said quietly. "I promise. I just like it...do you promise not to laugh if I tell you something?"

[gate_expert]

"Of course I'm not going to laugh," Sam assured him. Unless he was making a joke, and half the time she didn't even laugh at those. "What is it?"

[has_2ls]

"My bed feels lonely without you in it," Jack said softly, swallowing thickly to hide his embarrassment over admitting it. "So I like it when you stay, or when you let me stay at your place. And it's stupid, but I've spent a hell of a lot of years alone in one way or another."

[gate_expert]

"It's not stupid," Sam assured him. She'd spent the vast majority of her adult life alone, especially recently, so she knew exactly what he meant. "It isn't. And I...I know how you feel."

[has_2ls]

"You just don't feel the same way?" Jack asked, giving her a sad little half-smile.

[gate_expert]

"Well, no, I wouldn't say that," she said, a little hesitantly--God, the sad little expression tugged at her heart and she wanted to kiss it away--and tried to think of how to explain it. Sam would never come flat out and say she thought he'd get tired of her if she and her little neuroses were constantly around; her comfort level with their relationship wasn't quite up to that yet. And she'd been alone for so long, especially that year in Ba'al's altered timeline, that now that she wasn't alone it would be so easy for her to slip into clinging to him all the time, making up for lost time, and she didn't want to do that.

"I've been alone for a long time, too," she said quietly, a little embarrassed herself. "And even when I wasn't, there was always a little distance. It's just part of who I am, I think, and I've been that way so long it's a little hard to change." She'd been so set in her ways for so long she wasn't sure if she wasn't permanently stuck there...which wasn't an attractive admission.

[has_2ls]

"You're with me now," Jack said, giving her a little grin that was a lot happier than he felt. "You're not alone, Sam. You don't have to be, anyway, unless you just wanna be."

[gate_expert]

"I know," she said, and her voice was tender. "And most of the time, I just want to be with you, even if we're just sitting around doing nothing...but sometimes, I just need me time. Which sounds like some new-age pop-psych bull, I know," she said, laughing at herself a little, "but it's true."

[has_2ls]

"But you're still on Jack time right now, right?" he asked, somewhat hopeful. He hoped, if she'd planned on staying, that he hadn't hurt his chances.

[gate_expert]

"Yes, Jack," she said affectionately, sliding her leg over his, fitting their bodies very comfortably together. "I'm staying tonight." She was in a snuggly mood, sated and content, and wasn't inclined to get up and get dressed even if she'd had the energy.

[has_2ls]

"Score one for Team O'Neill then," he said, stroking a hand down her back. "I like Team O'Neill. At least they win more than the Cubs."

[gate_expert]

"I didn't realize this was a sport," she teased, poking at his leg with her toe. "But I'm kind of rooting for Team O'Neill myself." She added this as if she was confiding some big secret.

[has_2ls]

"Oh yeah? You must have a thing for the underdogs," Jack murmured, playing with her hair a little.

[gate_expert]

"I've worked with this team long enough to know how good they are about beating impossible odds," she said softly.

[has_2ls]

"Mmm, yes," he murmured again, stroking a hand down her shoulder. "Do I make you happy?"

[gate_expert]

"You frustrate me," she said, "and amaze me, and annoy me, and cheer me up... You make me angry and you make me proud, you irritate me, make me worry, and make me laugh, and yes, you make me happy, more than anything else. You make me feel more than anyone else I've ever known, Jack."

And that was probably a serious case of too much information; it was certainly more than she'd meant to say, but it was all true.

[has_2ls]

"I'm glad," he mumbled against her skin, kissing her lightly. He hadn't expected her to say all those things and truth be told he was a little overwhelmed, but in the good way. It would just take a minute to process it all.

"You continually amaze me," Jack admitted after a long moment, pulling up just to look at her. "You're brilliant but you're warm and human and...look, I'm a lucky bastard, landing a woman like you."

[gate_expert]

Sam had never taken compliments well, whether they were affectionate ones or embedded in a performance evaluation, and she blushed. "We'll just say we're both lucky, okay?" she said, and traced her fingers down his chest.

[has_2ls]

Jack laughed a little. "We are both really lucky. But I'm luckier. Look how nice you are to look at, huh? All long legs and wicked grins."

[gate_expert]

More blushing followed that, and she shook her head a little. "It's not like you're not easy on the eyes yourself," she teased, and slid her fingers through his hair, brown mixed with grey. In her time it was all silver, but now it was mixed, and in her opinion the greyer it got, the better he looked. Especially in his dress uniform.

[has_2ls]

"Not talking about me," Jack pointed out, grinning at her. "Talking about you and how damn sexy you are. I don't know how I stood it for as long as I have."

[gate_expert]

"Pssh," Sam said, poking him in the chest a little. The blush spread all over her skin and that only made her blush more. One would think that at forty plus, she would be used to compliments... but not really.

[has_2ls]

"Are you blushing, Carter?" Oh, now that just plain amused him. He knew she'd had trouble taking compliments when they were work related but he didn't think that'd carry over like this. "Are you getting shy on me?"

[gate_expert]

"Maybe," she said, and yanked at the covers, pulling them up around the two of them. "It's your fault."

[has_2ls]

"How's that?" Jack asked, trying to work the covers back down so he could see. "I just gave you a compliment, Sam."